Back to College for a Day, Harvest Home, my adoption story, A Window Between Worlds, Gali Rotstein

Posted on May 29, 2010. Filed under: Adoption emotions, My Adoption Story | Tags: , , , , , , |

Here’s a blog post I wrote back in October 20007 which was a better time for my relationship with the adoptive couple, but also a recollection of some of my more painful experiences while pregnant and waiting for the adoption to take place. I also wrote this when I was very happy running my PR & Marketing firm.

Here’s an example of some of those thoughts.

By Joy A. Kennelly

Yesterday was very serendipitous to say the least. I did more media relations for Back to College for A Day –which is coming along nicely, thank you for asking. The Washington Post reporter I pitched today found my press release very interesting, but was hoping for a more local angle.

I’m hoping she’ll see this as a national trend and pick up the story regardless of the fact this educational program takes place on the West Coast. The courses offered in Audrey’s program are perfect for that paper – politics, law, health, media.

I’ve hit a number of newspapers and online calendar listings which should help generate interest. We’ve also decided to allow people to sign up for individual seminars in case you can’t stay for the entire day.

Here’s the info again in case you’ve missed it taken from my posting on Experience LA: Back to College For A Day

Admission: Special introductory rate of $125 covers four lectures, lunch and parking. Individual seminars available at $40 each includes parking.
Services: Lunch is included in the program fee                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Description: Back to College For A Day debuts Saturday, October 27, 2007 from 9:30am – 4:00pm at Mt. St. Mary’s College – Chalon campus located at 12001 Chalon Rd., Los Angeles, CA 90049.

Back To College For A Day features renowned speakers, compelling topics and like-minded people who share the joy of learning and want to enjoy a day of intellectual and social stimulation. Special introductory rate of $125 covers four lectures presented by well-respected professors from Pomona, UCLA, and Pitzer, lunch and parking. Individual seminars offered including parking for $40.00. Advance registration required.

Lectures include:

1) Bias in the Media: Are You Getting the Real Story? – Tim Groeling, UCLA. Winner of the Copenhaven Award for Teaching with Technology; Author of When Politicians Attack: Party Cohesion and the Media.

2) The Coming Pandemic: Why Influenza is a Major Threat – Ralph Robinson, UCLA. Nominated three times for the UCLA Luckman Distinguished Teaching Award for Outstanding Lecturer; Consultant on bioterrorism for KPCC’s “Life and Times” and other news broadcasts.

3) The U.S. Congress in the American Political System – David Menefee-Libey, Pomona College. Four-time recipient of Pomona’s Wig Distinguished Teaching Award; Author of The Triumph of Campaign-Centered Politics.

4) Police States Past and Present – Andre Wakefield, Pitzer College. Author The Disordered Police State.

For more information visit http://www.backtocollegeforaday.com or call (818) 704-4207
What’s really nice about working with Audrey is that she really respects my expertise and advice which is so refreshing. She gave me the biggest compliment today by telling me she found me highly ethical and honest which I take as a huge compliment because that is something I strive to be in all areas of my life.

It’s gotten me in trouble sometimes because sometimes it would be easier to lie, but I just find I’d rather take the fall-out by being honest than worry what I’ve said that’s incorrect down the road. It’s just a simpler, nicer way to live.

Okay, enough self-congratulations. What else was I going to say before I run out to my meeting. Actually, I can say audition since I’m not working with any actors right now and have finished my other client work. I think it’s fun to audition because it’s outside my normal realm, it gets me out of my head, and it’s fun to be using other sides of who I am.

I’m still a publicist first and foremost, but this is something I do because it brings me happiness. When it becomes work, then I’ll probably quit. What’s fun to realize is that a lot of billionaires have fun doing what they do too! Branson of Virgin Airlines builds businesses because it’s fun and challenging for him.

I feel the same way when I begin to work with a new client. I love the challenge of breaking them in to the media, establishing their brand, and making their press releases newsworthy. I love seeing my clients develop confidence as they see the results of our efforts together. I also love to see them move up in their careers or aspirations because of my help and guidance. Lastly, I love working as a team to see goals turn into fruition. That brings me a lot of pleasure.

So, as I was saying, yesterday, did some media relations work, went to an appointment and then met a friend for lunch over at Rose Cafe in Venice. I haven’t eaten there since 1999 or so and forgot how cute and cozy it is. The food is good too.

We caught up on what we’ve been doing in the year that we’ve seen each other and she’s just glowing with happiness at having found her true path in life as a Theta Healer/Teacher. (Sorry if that’s not accurate Moira, I’m in a rush and am not sure what your exact title is.) She’s like a whole new person she’s so happy! I’m happy for her too!

She’s moving so offered to introduce me to her landlord and gave me the address. When we parted I thought I’d drive by to see the place and see my old neighborhood, but got lost and never did see it. Just as well, I ended up driving by a building that houses A Window Between Worlds. This non-profit teaches women and children in battered women’s shelters art as a healing tool. They’re all over country now which is great!

I had volunteered there while pregnant and just had to see if they were still around. When I rang the bell, it was indeed the same place and they welcomed me to join them even though they were all at lunch.

Walking up the stairs to the main office area brought back a wave of emotions. I had volunteered there 9 years ago. It was there that I surrendered to the decision that since I couldn’t find a family I liked well enough to raise my son that maybe God wanted me to raise him myself. I would be a single parent.

It wasn’t what I wanted at all to do, but felt I had to just resign myself to that fate. The epiphany came while I had been participating as a “model” for A Window Between World’s TV news coverage they had arranged to showcase how the guided art programs are run and help women. All of sudden, during the demonstration I burst into tears and began sobbing.

It was like a huge dam had broken and all the sorrow, pain, and heartache of this entire pregnancy just came gushing forth. Cathy, the director, was very kind and gentle with me and lead me to a quiet place to journal my thoughts and feelings to gain composure. I don’t know if they ever ran that news cast or not, but I was amazed at how the art lesson had been so healing to me personally.

As I journaled I just turned over all my pain and confusion about my son and just accepted that God’s will might be for me to raise my son after all. At the time I didn’t know I was having a boy, but I did know I wanted my child to grow up with all the benefits of a two-parent, stable household which I didn’t feel I would be able to provide at that time.

Many women are single parents and I admire them. I just know for me, it wasn’t a path I was ready or able to travel down. That day, after surrendering my will to God’s will, I walked back to Harvest Home and there was a package waiting for me from the couple I would ultimately choose to adopt and raise my son.

All the women living in the maternity home with me were all involved in my search process by this time because I’d been looking for almost six months. When I opened the package, there was the soon-to-be adoptive couple’s application, lots of pictures, and a video they had created to introduce themselves to me.

All the women clamored for me to watch it so we gathered in the living room and began to watch together. I think that day I wished I had more privacy because everyone kept telling me this couples the one, they’re perfect for you. I didn’t want to believe it. I was prepared now to raise my child and now the idea of adoption seemed real scary.

However, I knew this couple was the one when I spoke to them both on the phone and they answered all my list of questions. And as a journalism minor in college, I had a long list of questions. I asked to speak to references and spoke to them too. I spoke to the adoptive mom’s family members.

I then called a very good friend at the time and asked her advice. She prayed with me and encouraged me to accept this as a reality. I knew it needed to be done, but it was hard now that it was so close to Eli being born.

I found this couple one month before Eli was born. It’s a miracle that they passed the home inspection in such a short time. That’s why when people are so amazed that celebrities seem to dash right through adoption issues, I know it can be done. The couple who adopted my son weren’t wealthy, just good people who would be loving, honest, caring parents.

I think people who judge adoptive parent’s suitability for this role can sense when the situation is right. God moves too! When I first began searching for adoptive parents, I sent letters out to all the adoptive agencies I knew around the country asking them for parents who would fit the criteria of what I was looking for.

When I had exhausted that route, I sent out letters to all my friends at various churches around the country asking them to refer good people to my attorney for consideration. It was through one of those letters that a couple attending my friend’s church in Texas remembered Amy & Jeff, my adoptive couple, from a Bible Study they had attended with them years back.

They contacted Amy and told her about me. She called Jeff who was doing military duty in Florida and said, “How’d you like to adopt a child?” Now they were content with being childless, but there was always a part of them that had wanted a child. They knew that when the time was right, God would bring them a child.

There was nothing physically wrong with either of them, they just weren’t able to conceive naturally. Rather than go through in vitro, they just waited on God. Jeff is a tall, handsome African-American man, and Amy is a petite, attractive blonde woman. I had had a vision of both of them (faceless, but their other physical characteristics very vivid in my head) when I was sending out letters around the country which I normally never have.

However, I do have very vivid dreams! This morning I dreamt that a very handsome, dark almost Italian looking man gave me the best bear hug ever when he saw me. It was hard to wake up after that dream!

Back to my story. Okay, so Amy and Jeff are contacted out of the blue to adopt a child they’ve never met and have never prepared for. That’s what is so amazing to me! There were so many couples I read their profiles whose whole lives revolved around wanting children in their lives. Amy & Jeff were content either way which I really liked that about them.

I didn’t want a couple who would idealize my child because that puts a lot of pressure on a child. I also wanted an inter-racial couple because I knew Eli would have an easier time of it if he didn’t feel even more out of place in a family that really didn’t look like him. What’s so weird is that Eli looks so much like Amy and Jeff people never even think to ask if he’s adopted which I think is great!

I really couldn’t ask for better adoptive parents. They’re secure in our relationship and their relationship with Eli. We get along really well. I love them and am so happy I found them. God is good!

That’s why going back to Harvest Home this past weekend and seeing what my life was like only 9 years ago; then finding A Window Between Worlds again after all the time; driving down my old street and looking for places there was so mind-blowing. It’s like God feels I’m ready to deal with all this emotion and can move beyond it now.

What was so interesting about visiting A Window Between Worlds yesterday is that the walls are covered with art and now I represent Gali Rotstein, a fine artist! Never in a million years would I ever have said my life would lead to art, but here I am.

I guess working with Gali is another way to heal because she appreciates and respects my work when some others haven’t in the past. That is important to me with the people I choose to work with. I need to feel like they will ultimately become friends because I look at each relationship in a long-term fashion and I only like working with friends!

I’ve tried working for people who don’t want to be friends and it’s just too disheartening and defeating. I can’t do it. My work is part of my life and my life is part of my work so it has to mesh. So, there you have it.

I need to run, but thanks for stopping by… More client news soon!

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    Emotions I feel surrounding my adoption, books I read and other experiences in life

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