Feeling much better – spoke to my son today!

Posted on May 7, 2008. Filed under: Adoption emotions, Eli & me, Mom & me, Uncategorized |

By Joy A. Kennelly

Since last writing my bronchitis is almost completely cured. Yeah! Went to the doctor today and got more medicine to help with the final stages. I feel SOOOO much better it’s not even funny. Thank you God in heaven for Z-packs and loving friends who care.

My poor mom now has caught this and is so sick we’re not going to be able to travel to Miami this weekend after all! Bummer, but kind of a relief too because I still have a lot of stuff to do and there’s lots of fun activities I would have missed leaving now.

It’s weird, but every time I’m planning a trip I always get a sense whether or not it will really happen, or if I will make other plans. I felt that way about my Mexico plans and same with Miami. When it’s right, everything just falls into place and I feel it happening. I can visualize my vacation and try as I might, I never visualized this trip to Florida.

On another note… My mom always surprises me. Every time I think she too has given up on a relationship with Elijah, she reaches out with love and a hand-sewn gift for him that lets me know she still thinks of him and cares too.

I don’t know as Eli really knows what to make of her because she’s rather sporadic in her contact. When she asked him if he knew who she was he said, You’re Joy’s mom. Then, when she said I’m your grandma, he got real quiet. However, they had a very pleasant conversation and he was quite entertaining.

He sure wasn’t quiet when speaking to me today! I wasn’t able to call him on his birthday and decided to try and reach him today. I got the machine and left a message not expecting a response. Imagine my pleasant surprise when I hear this little voice saying, Hello Joy, thank you for calling to wish me a happy birthday.

Yes! Eli called me (probably with his parent’s help of course since he’s only 9 – thank you Amy & Jeff!) and he’s a little firecracker! We laughed and talked like no time at all had passed between us. When he asked when I was coming out to see him again I was able to explain that since I’ve been sick and not able to work as much as I need to to afford to come see him that’s why I haven’t made plans to do so.

I didn’t tell him that I had kind of decided not to see him because of everything and I’m glad I didn’t. I really do want to see him. Unfortunately though, I don’t know when it will be now. I don’t even know when my Miami trip will happen either!

The only reason I was able to plan that was because I have a free flight from getting bumped and my mom had covered the timeshare. However, God always works things out. Maybe I’ll go to visit him now that the invitation is out there again.

I really do love that little guy. He reminds me of me because he’s so fun and full of life and excitement. Not that you probably think I have that in me right now since I’ve been kind of down, but when I’m happy, which is how I’m beginning to feel again now that I feel better, I do have fun and enthusiasm to share with people.

I just love that he loves me too. Every time I think he’s forgotten me, or doesn’t love me, all I need to do is hear him ask when I’m coming to visit and I know he does. I really thrive on his unconditional love for me. I hope he knows how much I love him too. God is faithful in our relationship is all I’ve got to say.

Lately I’ve just really missed having someone to love in my life and give love to. I was doing real well, but every time I don’t feel well I wish I had someone to care for me in sickness and in health. I have been asking for a lot of prayer about this lately too because it’s just hard being single. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

I went to my old church’s women’s retreat this past Saturday and was really blessed by the love and support all those women gave to me. It was a really special day filled with lovely food, gifts, and fellowship. Nancee, the hostess, has a beautiful home and garden that was a perfect setting for spending personal time with God.

At the end of the leader’s message (on pride no less – talk about conviction!), people were invited to come sit on a chair in front and be prayed for. Of course I totally went forward and asked for prayer for my health and my relationship desires. We shall see!

Then tonight at my last night of my Bay Cities Bible Study, it was a very loving and giving time too. I just love Beth Moore’s study on Believing God. God is good!

And with that, I leave you.

Remember God loves you and so do I!

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    Emotions I feel surrounding my adoption, books I read and other experiences in life

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