Another of my Harvest Home friends just found me

Posted on May 4, 2008. Filed under: Adoption emotions, My Adoption Story, Uncategorized | Tags: , , |

By Joy A. Kennelly

Yesterday I received an email via my myspace page from a young woman I had lived with at Harvest Home named Edie I have lost touch with for the past seven years.

She had pimped her myspace site out all gangsta which cracked me up because she’s the hardest working, loving mother I know. She should be. She has four little boys now.

It was so wonderful to hear from her after all this time. The time of my pregnancy was one of the hardest times of my life for so many reasons. I was living in a maternity home (shelter) along with up to 9 other single pregnant woman at one time.

I was living on welfare while producing my short film festival and lost friends over my decision to choose adoption. My parents weren’t always supportive although I know they loved me, just didn’t get it.

I remember being so happy to find a place to live where I could just relax and be pregnant without condemnation that I sent all my friends the Harvest Home newsletter with a sticky attached saying “I’m pregnant and living here now. Donate please.”

Or something like that. I’ve always been pro-fundraising even when it’s for me! LOL

That maternity home actually still exists in Venice, CA and every so often I go to their reunions. However, generally none of the women I lived with are there.

That’s why it was so nice to hear from Edie. We’ve been corresponding via myspace the past couple of days which has been fun. I finally called her tonight and we had fun reminiscing.

I told her I remembered taking her cutie pie little baby boy and sitting him on my lap to take a picture to send to my friends to say he was my child. That made us both laugh because he’s black and I’m white.

She promised to find some of the pictures and just wrote me to say check out her myspace page. I’ve added the link to our time together at Harvest Home.

I so remember this time of my life and it’s so nice of her to take the time to post the pictures. Check ’em out. Her little boy was/is such a cutie. He’s doing so well in school – honor roll!

There were about five of us who had babies all around the same time and we used to get together to celebrate each child’s bday. I think that’s what some of these pix are from.

I was the only one who chose adoption which was difficult during certain periods of time, but these women, no girls at that time, just loved and accepted me. I’ll never forget or turn my back on any of them when they contact me.

We used to have group therapy together, birthing class, sewing, and we used to take turns cooking for the entire house. When it was your turn to cook you not only chose the meal and prepared it for 10 people while very pregnant, you also were responsible for all the clean-up afterwards. That was so exhausting! I didn’t mind cooking, but I hated cleaning up.

I used to get real sick and often was in the hospital on iv’s because of the flu, or other sicknesses. I remember being real sick over Christmas and New Years.

All of us girls got real close. We fought, we laughed, we cried, we cared and we loved each other’s children. I still love those children even though I don’t see them.

What was funny tonight is that Edie said her boyfriend wanted to know who that white girl was in her picture collection. That made me laugh out loud.

I used to live with ghetto girls (I used to tease them so I think it’s ok to still say that…!:))- the other white girl, Sunny, was a former stripper, and Renee, was a hippie girl from Santa Cruz.

Really great girls and I will always love them. They helped me through a very difficult time in my life and for their support and love then and now, I will always be grateful.

Made me cry to look at the old pictures from so long ago which is why I just had to share. So many people today don’t even know my life story, or what I’ve been through.

That’s fine, but it’s also nice to connect with people who do. My son celebrates his birthday this Monday which I think is making me very sentimental.

I read a book called Whatever Makes You Happy about three English mums who go to live with their adult sons and the havoc they create. It’s a rather clever read – the English version and I enjoyed it.

Turns out the one gay son had fathered a child for his lesbian friend. When his mother found out about the child, she was overjoyed with love for this baby she’d never met and promptly went out and bought all kinds of gifts.

Then she went and sat outside the home until the mother came out with the newborn baby.She strikes up a conversation and then reveals she’s the grandmother.

This part made me cry because this woman wouldn’t take no for an answer and forced the relationship which, in the book, turned out very nicely.

Made me realize I’ve given up on my son. Why? I don’t know. However, reading that book and talking to Edie tonight makes me realize my heart still isn’t closed to my son. It never will be no matter how much I want to pretend that it is.

You just can’t walk away from your own flesh and blood without feeling pain. I think I’m going to sleep on this. Still very tired and the medicine I’m taking for my bronchitis isn’t helping as much as I would have hoped.

I could have pneumonia after all. I sure hope not, but all signs seem to point in that direction. Doesn’t help that my friend just informed me that someone she knows who had walking pneumonia died over it!

Needless to say, I’ll be going to the doctors, and maybe another doctor for a 2nd opinion if I’m not better by the time this Z-pack is completed.

Okay, that’s all. Just felt like sharing. I just had a lot of emotions come up after seeing those pictures from Edie and speaking to her. Thanks for reading.

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    Emotions I feel surrounding my adoption, books I read and other experiences in life

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