Just to clarify on my adoption position now…

Posted on January 18, 2008. Filed under: Why I write | Tags: , , , , , , |

By Joy A. Kennelly

Just to make sure you all realize, I spoke before that audience on Capitol Hill back in 2001. I was also living and working with Rose Vista close to then too. I lived there first and then helped them publicize themselves later. I also counseled pregnant women who were curious about adoption.

My take is, do what’s right for you and what you feel is right for your child. If you think raising your child as a single parent (man or woman) is best, do that. Side note: Hermosa Beach, CA actually has a very high percentage of single fathers raising their kids alone which I find very fascinating since it’s public perception that it’s usually women. Not so here for some reason. Maybe the women are too much of partyers? Just kidding.)

However, I can’t support abortion because then in my humble opinion, you’re only doing what’s right for yourself at the sake of your unborn baby. That said, it is still your choice, but I would hope that you have a very informed decision before jumping to this one as your only option. However, how you choose to live your life is none of my business, but it does sadden me.

Enough on that. Although not recently, I have been the birthmother representative on other adoption panels because I think it’s important for adoptive parents to hear the other side too. It’s real easy just to focus on “getting the baby,” but what you as an adoptive parent might not realize is that your birthparents gene’s will affect that child’s personality and identity too.

Adoptive parents create the environment and influence this child to a large extent (which I personally am happy for), but there’s still things that your child might have that you have no bearing over because of their own separate heredity. Does this make sense?

I guess I’m writing to the adoptees out there too who might find my blog because despite us not being in your life, birthparents do influence who you are today. You probably already know that though. We also cared an awful lot about you to go for 9 months carrying you to life. It’s not anything I wish to repeat anytime soon. The loss that is.

Okay, I gotta run. Check out the nice comments from Coco on my speaking post. I hope others will chime in too.

I do have to say it was interesting to look back and realize that I’ve been political about issues I’m passionate about for a long time. My fervor for adoption may have waned a bit, but I’m going strong with alcohol issues in Downtown Hermosa Beach now.

We shall see what comes of this effort! Could be interesting… If you’re curious about it at all, check out This is Hermosa site. It’s where we explain everything in greater detail. Feel free to pipe in too.

I’m open to speaking on other adoption panels should anyone find what I have to say of interest too. Just leave a comment, or shoot me an email. I’m in a real state of acceptance and feel I could add value to the discussion.

Thanks for reading!

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    Emotions I feel surrounding my adoption, books I read and other experiences in life

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